Now, what should we try?

Now, what should we try?

When things would go wrong she would cry.⁠
When friends rejected her offers to play, she would cry.⁠
When she was sad, she would cry.⁠
When she was angry, she would cry.⁠ This is when you begin to ask: now, what should we try?

What most people say in response is, “Use your words.”⁠

⁠What I say is, “Do you need to do the crying part now or after?”⁠

⁠Why? Crying is necessary for some children to get over the upset. Crying allows them to create space for problem-solving.⁠

A stifled and suppressed cry doesn’t mean the tension simply floats away.⁠

Instead crying is the first step of the problem-solving process.⁠

Kid’s crying is equivalent to our initial:⁠

swearing⁠
“Help me, Jesus”⁠
“For EFFs sake”⁠
gritting our teeth⁠
deep breathing⁠
rubbing our forehead⁠

We release tension to take the next step forward.⁠

This is what crying does for children.⁠

So when she was done crying I would acknowledge she finished the crying part, “Now, what should we try to fix the problem?”⁠

Crying isn’t a problem. How we construe it IS.⁠

If we see it as the first step in solving a problem it shifts our reaction to it.⁠

We begin to accept it as the first part of a powerful process.⁠

Isn’t that how you want people to perceive our adult tears?⁠

Some kids cry first, some kids cry later and some kids cry on the inside. Normalize crying for all ages.⁠

Joshua

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