He stopped to pick up tacos before the C-section because he was hungry. That infuriated me. I was not allowed to eat. Why couldn’t he wait till after?
He kept making videos while I waited for surgery. I was so anxious and mad I couldn’t speak. He was so into his experience he didn’t notice my fear. I was terrified of the incision. What if they hurt the baby? No one knew this but me. When she appeared I didn’t recognize her. I was convinced it was the wrong baby.” Mom of two
Birth is what marks your entry into parenthood. Yes, a baby is born but for you the parent it is THE beginning.
I have found countless times women who are haunted by their birth story often parent from within a dark cloud for many months and years.
Their children may be fine but the mother parents and lives within a cloud of internal turmoil.
It is so important to share your REAL birth story. The parts that torment you, that play over and over in your mind. Sharing the parts you always gloss over, the parts that you think no one will understand. Your story is important that includes the parts that eat away at you.
If you don’t speak about the moments that haunt you they will impact your relationship with your child, partner, and self.
I have met countless women and men who feel an immense sense of relief when they speak about those dreaded moments. Believe me when I say some of my work requires me to help unpack these memories many years later.
I for one was so confused and crushed when I did not recognize my baby. No woman had prepared me for this. For weeks I was in and out of a fog. It felt like I was caring for someone else’s child. I had no idea it was most likely postpartum depression. This memory haunted me for years. Why hadn’t it been recognition at first sight like everyone talked about?
Is there a moment that haunts you? Release it below in the comments or send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org. Set yourself free. Speak it so you don’t feel alone. Say it because it is normal. Speak it because feeling it/admitting to it doesn’t make you a bad parent.
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