You are currently viewing Soft-spoken children do have opinions

Soft-spoken children do have opinions

It is foolish to think soft-spoken children don’t have opinions.⁠

Often times we make being quiet a negative.⁠

We get frustrated when they don’t speak up.⁠

But what if you saw their silence as a superpower?⁠

What if you started to appreciate their observation and hesitance as a brilliant strategy.⁠

What if you felt honored and excited when they did choose to speak?⁠

What I can tell you is most of the time soft-spoken children have tracked every object and interaction within a room.⁠

They notice the ease and the discrepancies in social interaction. They also note which games/habits work and which don’t. ⁠

Soft-spoken children do have opinions. The soft-spoken child is also one who will not be swayed by popular public opinion. This child moves forward when their gut tells them to do so. ⁠

What I find is people are so eager to get them to speak they miss creating a relationship with them. It becomes all about “breaking” that habit. ⁠

Teaching them to speak up.⁠

Making them speak by any means necessary.⁠

What most fail to understand is that speaking isn’t the issue. Trust is.⁠

Trust that they will be understood.⁠

Trust that they will not be pressured to become someone else.⁠

Trust that they won’t be burdened with your goals.⁠

Trust that you aren’t forcing them to speak just for show or to make you happy.⁠

I’ve worked with countless select mutes as well as speech delayed children. If you ask them an honest question without pressure to perform, they will communicate their ideas.⁠


1) give them time to think⁠
2) patiently wait for their opinion⁠
3) ask them away from the stares of others⁠
4) ask in a lower voice⁠

If you are at the point of frustration step back and adjust two things:⁠

1) Ask a question to gain info NOT to test the child.⁠
2) Be open to ideas being drawn, acted out, or spoken.⁠

Have you had experience with this? ⁠ I would love to hear from you.